We all have issues that we must work through. Here are a few of mine.

I carry a lot of anger in my head.

I also have a lot of love in my heart.

Childhood Issues

When I started this, I was unsure where the issue of anger in my head came from, and it only took a minute for the answer to surface.  I’m not too fond of control.  I hate when someone tries to regulate who I am.  As a child, someone always told me I was not intelligent or couldn’t behave in this loving manner.  That everything I did from my heart had an ulterior motive.  I came to believe I was an awful person.  They also told me no one liked me and that they always used me.    Therefore, I have had a lot of trust issues.  Wow, I just realized that is where my trust issues came from.  I always took care of myself, and that made me selfish.  Sometimes, I have to admit that I am selfish. 

As you can see, I have a lot of control, trust, and self-doubt issues. This may be why I have very strong opinions about the people in the world who try to control others.  Also towards people who spread hate with their words and actions. 

Early Adulthood Issues

When I started to break out of my insecurities and transform, my boyfriend at the time told me I changed.  When I said yeah, for the better, he told me he didn’t like it.  I think that was shortly after a guy came up to me as we were leaving a nightclub and told me how beautiful I was and never to allow anyone to tell me otherwise.  My then-boyfriend said yeah, if you want to believe a drunk.  As you can imagine, our relationship ended shortly after that.

Authentic

I don’t know if I am going to post this or not.  While working on my blog, I am trying to be authentic, but lately, I have felt like I was inauthentic because of my control issues and what is happening in the world.  I dislike people who try to control and hurt others, and I am very vocal about it personally.  My anger outweighs the love in my heart, and sometimes, I say pretty mean things.  And I feel that all the love I am trying to convey is getting covered over by the anger.

I am trying to show my support by not expressing negativity anymore but showing accomplishments, but sometimes, I get scared of where our world is headed, and anger comes pouring out.   

Breaking Out

Thank you for reading. As you can see, I decided to publish this. Realizing where some of my issues originated has been very therapeutic for me. There are other things that I do not wish to discuss now, but maybe someday.

I hope that this can help anyone with issues of anger over love. Remember, our hearts are far wiser than our heads, and love is more intelligent than hate and anger. 

Wishing you bliss!