Often, people who bully lack self-esteem and unfortunately, believe tormenting others is the only way to relieve their pain. They may have experienced hurt from others, whether intentionally or not.  Either way, responding compassionately is the most effective approach to help them overcome the hurt and begin to heal.

Cycle of Hurt

Unfortunately, there is a cycle of hurt, and bullying usually comes from seeing an adult doing it.  Children are not bullies and do not become aggressors without some influence.  They are being taught that it is okay to bully, whether they are being bullied by an adult or they see an adult oppressing others.

To stop the cycle of bullying, we must find a way to help the perpetrator.  They often have lived with this hurt for so long. They may not even know what it is or where it came from. On the other hand, in a child’s case, they are likely not to see that they are hurting. Only, that it feels good to have power over someone else. 

To help this person, we must have compassion for them.  We must respond with love, and kindness and reach out a helping hand. This may be difficult, especially if the bully is physically abusive. However, we must find a way to get them help.

Compassion From Children

One of the best gifts we can give to a child and the world is teaching them to respond with compassion. We can let them know that the person hurting them is hurt. Therefore, maybe there is something they can do to help that person. 

For example, if a child is a little heavier and someone calls them fat, we can teach them to respond compassionately.  They can acknowledge that they know they are heavier than others and are working on it.  Also, they can tell the bully that they have been hurt in the past. Resulting in them choosing food to deal with the hurt instead of insulting or hurting others. In the same way, it may be something about their parents.  Therefore, they can acknowledge they have an issue and are working on it.  However, they choose not to hurt others while working through their problem.

Often, when children respond compassionately, others around them respond the same way, removing any power the bully believes they have.  Children, like adults, like to see people win and not cave to the ill intentions of others.

Parents Best Defense

Too often, when a child is being bullied, the parent wants to handle the situation by going to the bully’s parents or the school.  However, there are only so many things the school can do to help, and if the child is a bully, there is a good chance the parents are aware of their child’s behavior and either encourage it or lack the compassion to deal with it.

Hence, one of the best ways we can enrich our children’s lives is to teach them how to compassionately deal with a bully.

Cancel Culture of Bullying

Often, it will take several times for a bully to understand compassion. Since they likely have not received it in the past.  At the same time, we cannot allow the bullying to continue if the aggressor does not respond to this compassion.  

If a child bully is not dealt with, they will grow up as a bully or, worse, an abuser. Children are not the only people who are bullied.  Unfortunately, adults can also be intimidated. Possibly by their significant other or even a coworker.  Responding with compassion is a little more complicated. As adults, we expect other adults to behave in a certain way.  Unfortunately, if they cannot find a way to release the hurt they feel, they will continue to bully others.

However, we should try to keep situations from escalating by being compassionate.  Compassion may be rejected initially. However, the more compassion a person receives, the more likely they are to respond to it with compassion. This will help to enhance their lives.

When we react to bullying with bullying, nothing is accomplished except hate.  No one heals from their wounds. Therefore, are likely to continue to inflict harm on others, who may then inflict it on others.   Hence, compassion is the best way to end this cycle.

World Full of Bullies

Unfortunately, the world is full of adult bullies. It is hard to teach children it is wrong to be a tormentor. Especially, when they see it on TV, in school with a teacher, or at home with a parent. We must show them why it is so hurtful to the world. Also, how compassion can make the world a more beautiful place to live.

No one likes a bully, not even a bully.